Her efforts are ackward and many times useless. She has attacked my personality recently and this weekend, I noticed that I did not attack her when she was in a foul mood, simply removed myself from the situation. I have already told you that, but then I have to wonder: If she is unaware that her mood swings and so disruptive, then she will see no need to change, and I will ALWAYS be the one to remove myself. This I see as unfair! OK, you can tell me its petty, but it builds resentment and takes away much of my desire to spend time with her and our daughter. So if I always REMOVE MYSELF, how is that going to work? I want to be happy and laughing, and doing fun things like we used to...not spend my time "removing myself", walking on eggshells in the hopes of NOT triggering a mood swing (which I used to do anyways). I see this as being further away from being reality and, more importantly, further away from my heart. Its just to damn heavy!
This weekend taught me that being my normal, light hearted self, feels damn good, and that seems imposible around my wife lately. She introduces a level of frustration and stress that I do not wish to share! I am more than happy being on my own right now, doing things with friends, relaxing alone and yes, going on very light hearted "dates", where nothing serious is expected or even desired, just out to a movie and being able to be me, having fun, and recieving the same in return!
