Bizarre situation

[geordie]

According to DR, the life span of an A is about 6 months. And allowing your H to chase his fantasy may shock him back to reality.


Yes, I read that also. I guess I'm also hoping that OW will not stand for the constant contact H has with me and that will wear her down, like she can never have him properly because of our S and H's commitment to S...I know, I know...I can't control what other people do or think but I'd be lying if I didn't think about occasionally.

Thing about the 6-9 month duration of A's, with my sitch H ran out in Oct but because he ran 2 hrs away and he works night shift here (has never got another job even though she has been pushing since Aug) it works out that his schedule is:
Tuesday: leave OW at 6am to drive to me and look after S until I get home then get back to OW at 8pm
Wed: same as Tues
Thurs: sleep in until lunch time, drive 2hrs to work (calls in to see S for half an hour on way), works all night....
Friday: comes "home" to sleep off night shift, goes back to work...
Sat: comes home to sleep off night shift, spends a couple of hours as a normal family then goes to work again...
Sunday: drives 2hrs to OW, falls asleep, gets up late afternoon then has Sunday evening, and all day Monday with OW (only she is at work on Mondays) then the whole cycle starts again on Tuesday. Thefore, he doesn't see OW AT ALL between Thursday lunch time and Sunday late morning......

So, really even though he moved out, he is actually spending more time here in our home than he is with her, even though I'm not generally present. She only has him on a Monday really as Sunday is a dead day with him turing his scheudule around back to dayshift. See what I mean by "Bizarre Situation"?!! My concern though is that the A may last much longer since they really aren't spending much time together despite the fact they supposedly live together. Almost like it is still an A because they have never spent more than a few consecutive days together (when I was in UK and so he didn't look after S). The PA started in July although OW had been making a play for him long before and my guess is that she was having EA with him for months before he even realized. By the time he did, he was sucked in and couldn't resist.

So, 7 months later here I am. Things have been good between us in recent days...haven't seen much of each other but he has called several times and the general chit-chat was good. Actually no-one would ever guess there was a problem if they overheard the conversation!

Some days I also feel like things are moving in the right direction and then all of a sudden it all falls apart. I have to learn not to get fixated on the bad things. Some days my PMA is wonderful, other days it is very low. Part of the roller coaster I guess. DB really does get us all to a better place mentally, regardless of the outcome of our current sitch.