Breaking down the wall. Q & A

[TinaG]

Steph

I wouldn't change anything unless you have/want to. When I went and talked to a lawyer for advice she said if we did split that beneficiaries should be left as they are so that the surviving spouse has the money to raise the children, makes sense. As far as the health insurance, I started my new job after our separation and have requested coverage for my H (we own our own contracting business and we were not previously covered, too expensive), I feel it's only fair, I don't hate my H, I love him.

Our finances remain as they have always been, joint. Nothing has changed other than the fact that my H is not living here. He doesn't want to split/change anything because he has a "feeling", whatever that means. I'm cool with that for now.

We have(had) a joint account at a different bank from the one we deal with because my work cheques are direct deposit through there. When I found out he went away with OW back in July, I closed out the account and opened a new one, transfering the money to the new one, now he doesn't have access to this account. My intention was that the money was for me and my kids to survive, not knowing what was going to happen. My H still does not know that I did this (we don't use the account that often) and I still feel awful about doing this. It is the only deceptive thing I have ever done to H and even though I may have been justified, it bothers me inside.

Tina