Am I piecing? I am sooooo confused

[Heywyre]

Ahhhh yes, detachment - such a LARGE word isn't it?

I know I shouldn't complain. We have come so far in a relatively short period of time (which is NEVER quick enough for me) but at the same time I keep saying "if he really, really wants to work on this, why does he keep sabotaging it?"

But I have to stop second guessing right? I have to stop trying to figure out HIS mind when I can't even figure out what's going on in my own.

I still wish I could be put to sleep until this was all over with.

I am reading a new book now (trying to give myself a break from the infidelity-type ones, which are great but they can't get to be a little much after a while). This one is called the seven levels of intimacy. This is something H and I have been struggling with for as long as I can remember, but particularly since the A's. When we talk about intimacy, he automatically thinks "sex" and that is the last thing on my mind. I have tried to explain to him that it can include sex, but it isn't "just sex" - he can't seem to sort that one out.

I am hoping he keeps up with my suggestions and reads this book too, it is a very good insight into intimacy and the connections with not only your primary relationship, but all the other ones in your life too

My interpretation of intimacy (and this book seems to mirror it) is, you just have to break the word intimacy down - in-to-me-see

It is basically allowing someone into your space, into your world, into your heart, mind and soul. H seems to be scared to death of that for fear I might be the devil and steal his soul