you make perfect sense, to me at least. when i married and then had my children I assumed (and wanted) that i would spend my time with h and kids, when h decide he wasn't sure (and then was sure he didnt want to be with me) I pulled away from him, in pulling away from him it unfortunatly meant i would also be spending less time with my kids that actually were my whole life. so on sundays instead of enjoying family time... i started enjoying me time instead, at first yes i did feel guilty like i was robbing my children of time with me.. but then realized that by being there i was not only robbing h of HIS time with them but I was also robbing myself of my me time. you will not be hurting your d by not being there during mommy time, you may be giving her a gift of a mommy d relationship that cannot exist when daddy is there to pick up the peices for mommy.
i will admit that when i started to not be around during daddy time it was to send a message.... if he doesn't want to be a family i wont play happy family for him when he visits. did that message hurt the kids??? don't know daddy and kids seemed to form a bond during those times, daddy actually learned to handle things on his own and soon realized that the effort (getting your but out on the ice) gives a huge payoff, the admiration of the child and the pleasure of knowing you gave of yourself (getting on the ice when you'd rather watch from the bench (w)) to make them happy.
