You know, I'm not sure I can ever fully, 100% trust my husband.... I think more than trusting him I have to trust that this has happened twice now and can always happen again. Instead I figure, I need to be strong, independent and have a life of my own. I basically try to love him unconditionally, accept that he has had this weakness and hope he can develop better character... and also hope he'll be smart enough to realize that long-term, unconditional love is a rare and valuable gift that he'd be stupid to throw away... but I know there's no guarentee. Is there really ever any?

Next week my H has to travel to where OW is (for work) and how can I be 100% certain he won't run into her, deal with her or develop feelings for her again. I can't. But I've also realized I just don't want to waste my life agonizing over this. Instead I'm going to focus on me, my kids, my friendships, my relationship with my husband, and just live my life best as I can.

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.