See, the thing I like about HD simply saying "I want to have an intimate encounter with you once per week" is that it does not admit argument. Virtually anything else he says about what he feels entitled to, what he deserves, what she should do, etc. can be countered with No you don't and no I shouldn't.
Hairdog said it about eight posts ago: what this plan will do will either get him sex once a week or make it clear that she is not willing to do this simple thing that he wants her to do.
I think at all costs, hd, you must avoid getting into any kind of conversation, defense of your position, courtroom scene, etc.
The state of the house, the behavior of the kids, whether you have your hair parted on the right or the left side-- none of this has any bearing on the essential point WHICH IS UNARGUABLE: You want an intimate encounter with her once per week. Period. No defense. No defense or explanation is necessary. It's absolutely clear why you want this. She knows it. You know it.
If you make that request and she says flat out "no," then just let that NO lie there in the like a fish twitching out its life on the dock.
Don't ask her why or try to convince her. If she says "or what?" say, "no, or what? This is not a contest or a debate. I'm simply making a request." Don't let her turn it into a point to be debated. There will be no debate, because there doesn't need to be a debate.
To the poster who said that the sex schedule will only reinforce the LD person's view that the HD [sic] person wants her only for sex. I think it's pretty clear to Mrs. HD that he does not want her only for sex. If he did, he would be long gone. She's not stupid. This is about power and control, not about sex (at least not for her).
But hd, that doesn't mean you should make the statement, "if I wanted you only for sex, I'd have been long gone, because that will just kick of a distracting series of blows."
Besides, I'm not convinced Mrs. HD is a LD person. I think she's so tight-a$$ed and proud and angry that she has forgotten where she put her sexuality. She has built an identity around being the Ferocious Feminist and she can't find her way down off that high horse.
At this point I don't care about her feelings, her beliefs, her fears-- I only care about her BEHAVIOR. HD is not an abusive guy who is going to ridicule and humiliate her. She CAN indeed trust him. She just needs to jump into the deep end of the pool.
Make the request. Let her respond. Do not defend, explain, or flinch.
DO NOT-- ABOVE ALL-- BE THE ONE TO BLINK FIRST. Resist the temptation to fill in an uncomfortable silence.
I say make the request every gd day, twice a day, until she agrees, even if just to shut you up.
