Thanks guys. you HAVE been a great help. I was feeling quite down but you cheared me up . Some things were said in session last night that just hurt as hell. Funny thing is, it wasn't the "I dont love you and never will" part, I am getting used to that one . It was the personal attacks. My wife brought up some pretty mean things and attacked me personally, my personality, things I had done. I have NEVER done that to her. I could easily have brought up some of her personality traits that are very hard to deal with...we all have them, but I have never done it and never will...although I felt like it last night (and still sort of do today!). My wife says she DID try to fix our marriage but you know what, it was classic "if it doesn't work, why keep doing it" stuff. Like writing me letters (when we were together) critizising me for what I did wrong or what I did NOT do! She NEVER DID anything about it...just told me I was doing everything wrong! I dont know how to explain that to her...or even if I should! Of course I was diffensive, I was being attacked. This is how it was last night again...I refused to get into it, but it still stung!
Next on the list, is my major backslide during the last week or so. I moved way too fast and started up way too many OR talks...hoping to get a feel for any progress I was making. It seems that it will be even harder now to get back to where we were only a short week ago! Remember our weekend away??? That was less than two weeks ago???
And last, I know, from my wife's words last night, that what she does fear is a reconciliation and being exactly back where we were a year ago: unhappy, frightened, confused and not wanting to hurt me again. So in order to avoid that...she figures she'll avoid me! She will not ALLOW herself to have any feelings for me out of fear of being right back where all this started!
I think the therapist also noticed, cause she is still edging towards getting us back together! Only my wife is resisting...and I dont know how to get her to resist less?
Well, that's it. Thanks everyone and have a good one!
. Some things were said in session last night that just hurt as hell. Funny thing is, it wasn't the "I dont love you and never will" part, I am getting used to that one 
. It was the personal attacks. My wife brought up some pretty mean things and attacked me personally, my personality, things I had done. I have NEVER done that to her. I could easily have brought up some of her personality traits that are very hard to deal with...we all have them, but I have never done it and never will...although I felt like it last night (and still sort of do today!). My wife says she DID try to fix our marriage but you know what, it was classic "if it doesn't work, why keep doing it" stuff. Like writing me letters (when we were together) critizising me for what I did wrong or what I did NOT do! She NEVER DID anything about it...just told me I was doing everything wrong! I dont know how to explain that to her...or even if I should! Of course I was diffensive, I was being attacked. This is how it was last night again...I refused to get into it, but it still stung! 
