Cat, you said you took a hard look at yourself but sometimes I don't think that is always fair to the wounded party. In my situation, H was relying more and more on me financially. I paid the mortgage and more of the necessities because his business was in a slump. In addition, I did the housework, cooking and took care of the kids quite a bit. I enabled H in most ares of his life! I was losing myself soooo much that when I finally started asking for help he balked. He felt I did not support him. He was burying us into extreme debt and was going to jeopardize our entire future. The minute I changed, H found another sugar momma who eventually dumped him. The OW didn't want the burden either even though she is not better. Ironically, now that he is out on his own, he is making money and supporting himself. However, it is at such a great cost. He got to play and I worked. Now I want a partner. I agree you need to appreciate your husband but the reverse it also true. I think those that have affairs are extremely selfish and my H was extremely selfish.
