steph, when my h first moved out, on his visit nights i still stayed around and helped with the kids, even if I was going out I still stayed to put them to bed. It wasn't working for me so I started to just leave when he would arive, after all I do spend every day and night with them so I accepted that I was not neglecting them by leaving but was neglecting my sanity if I stayed around and played "happy family" for h. it was hard to do at first and I was bothered at the fact that I had to leave my home because of h, but then i started to enjoy MY time and actually looked forward to it. not saying you shouldn't give your d family time, but if it's not working, start doing more for you!!! spend time with your d, doing things, stop inviting w, your right she is getting the best of both worlds!! perhaps it's time you got a chance at that as well... use the time when wife has d to do your own thing...and get back to YOU!!! LL
