My question for you is - if your H already failed the litmus test then what is keeping you there? If you don't want to look at it as a cost/benefit analysis of a sort (there are emotions involved so it isn't quite that really)- then what is the appropriate determinant of when it hurts too much to stay? I must profess that I do believe that your M is workable if only because you are one heck of a lady............
It's almost like it hurts too little to stay. Like I was a bouncy ball with a little jingle inside and I kept bouncing up against the walls of this relationship and the wall hasn't budged but my little jingle is broken. There is nothing left to break anymore because I'm all rubber.
If I initiated sex tonight and my H rejected me it wouldn't bother me in the least, even if he said something cruel. I'd just be thinking "whatever". That is probably why I won't initiate sex. It would just be a nihilistic exercise.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
