Am I piecing? I am sooooo confused

[LoginName]

If (when?) my W and I get as far as you and your H in piecing, I bet I'll face these same issues. In this small thing, I think it's a little easier for me. I can't and don't expect anything from my W. Your H is 'trying' and working on your R, so you expect more.

Have you heard of or tried the Speaker Listener technique in the book Fighting for Your Marriage? This might be an issue that this technique could help with. It's basically validating, and probably stuff you already know, but it's a good structure.

Then again, maybe all that's needed is for you to vent here until it's out of your system. Vent away if need be. I for one will tell you you're absolutely right (of course, we know being right isn't really the goal ;-) ).

I'd never say our H's actions are OK, or should be overlooked, but I hope you can shake your negative feelings and move on.

Maybe you need to detach (I'm struggling with what this means. Can you detach and still have the intimate R you desire? I think, theoritically, yes.) Don't let his feeling and actions dictate what you feel and think.

If you work this out, make sure to give all of us the answer. Not having THE answer won't stop me from giving you my opinion. ;-)