Steph,
Please consider another underlying fear she is experiencing. The fear that if the two of you do get back together again, the M will gradually revert to the way it was when she was in an unhappy state that caused her to leave. She is determined not to repeat the hurt and pain to all involved.

The hardest job we DBer's have is to prove to the WAS that we are dedicated to break the previous cycle at all cost.
To change their preception that the changes you made are only for the benefit of getting back together. You have to demostrate to them so that they will understand the purpose of changing was for your personal sake and not for theirs. Yes, if they wish, you are willing to share so they can partake in the gift you are giving to yourself, but whether they are with you or not, you are going to continue living as a changed person because you too do not want to live the way you were anymore.

My W brought up this very fear and I did explain to her that I was doing this for myself. That because of the changes I made that I discovered how much better my life can be. That it brought me closer to my daughter then I ever have been and how all this has made me a happier person. Why would I ever want to go back to the way things were again?!!

You have to convince them that your changes are the genuine thing before they are willing to explore their feelings again. They have to feel safe and trust that you will not bring back the old hurt and pain, so that they will be willing to feel other emotions again.

What you have been doing is drawing her closer, but it feels to her like she is stepping onto an unsteady plank with the old pain surrounding her. One false slip...

Keep doing what works and over time she will discover that plank is a sturdy bridge over the troubled water that will carry her over to the other side. To enfource your actions, the next time she brings up an OR talk to tell her how you feel about the changes that have come about within you and how it is better for you and that you hold no expectations for her to react to those changes. People, who truely feel enlighten, have a way of expressing themselves that can go a long way to convincing others that they are being true to what they believe.