Quote: Had a revelation last night! She is not afraid of falling in love with me, she is afraid of NOT falling in love with me! If we try to work on things and she just does not feel ANYTHING for me...that is her fear. That is why she says : I dont want to give you false hope...In cant start all over again. It is not fear of starting a relationship...it is fear of breaking up AGAIN! She keeps sayingf she does not want to hurt me again...this is her fear! I must try to show her that I am all right, strong, and can take a hit or two. She does not want to work on the marriage for fear of failure and hence inflicting more pain upon me!
and in that you are probably right, my h when he finally did express his confusion stated as such... saw that i had moved on and was dealing fine if he came back and then left again what damage that would do.. a defeatest attitude he admitted. he did express fear of comming home and trying and "it" not being there. well bla bla bla the story goes on. guess the thing to do is show her that you are strong and can make it even if it breaks, or use my h's line, what do we have to loose, if we try and make it that's good, if we try and don't well then at least we tried (funny those were my thoughts the whole six months he wasn't willing to try)
anyway as you know, don't believe everything you hear, there were several times my h said to me, "i'm not comming home" bla bla bla you know the lines... and now look. be strong and show her you will not crumble just because you love her. LL
