Well, I`m starting a new post, in order yto focus on the task at hand.

Had a big OR tal;k wioth my wife last night. She is worried about leading me on...says she does NOT know what the future holds for her but knows what will NOT happen: US! Well, instead of destroying me, it only served to strenghthen my resolve. You see, if I have been able to get this far, I only see it as a matter of time before I get to the next milestone! BUT HOW?

We spoke about the fact that she "resists" BECAUSE it is me. If she was spending this amount of time with someone else than me, she perhaps would not be so warry! So how do I get beyond this.

In our next C session, she wants to talk about how we (meaning me) would react to the other finding someone else . She says our relationship, the way it is now, WILL change eventually, that we will not simply keep in limbo as we are doing now: spending most of our time together, being parents, filling in the void with each other (HER words). I agree, but in my mind`s eye, our relatioonship will change only in the fact that it will grow into something much bigger .

Had a revelation last night! She is not afraid of falling in love with me, she is afraid of NOT falling in love with me! If we try to work on things and she just does not feel ANYTHING for me...that is her fear. That is why she says : I dont want to give you false hope...In cant start all over again. It is not fear of starting a relationship...it is fear of breaking up AGAIN! She keeps sayingf she does not want to hurt me again...this is her fear! I must try to show her that I am all right, strong, and can take a hit or two. She does not want to work on the marriage for fear of failure and hence inflicting more pain upon me!

I would really love any imput...what do I do next!

Steph