Who "initiated" is an interesting question. I met H at a business function that he was leading. He and I engaged in a bunch of staring, spoke a bit(but not much). Later, I wrote him a "thank you" note for his leadership. Very professional, risked nothing. He responded by sending me a business book a couple of weeks later. A few months later when my company was no longer considered a "client" of his, we met about the possibility of doing a "retreat" for my company - the air was very electric with possibility. Finally, after an hour or more of discussing this he turned the convo in the direction to ask me out and said he would opt out of the retreat so as not to mix the business and personal. Now - I felt for a long time that maybe I "initiated" things because I sent the email while in the back of my mind suspecting that there was interest and I would open a door. In a subsequent therapy meeting we were asked "who picked who" and without hesitation H replied that he clearly had "picked" me even while teasing me every so often about my "prompting." So - in a sense I was "dominant" and in a sense "submissive" in the interaction. Which was it????
