You can move to higher risk strategies. And, if you have the rare partner who truly isn't worried about WHAT you do or wants to divorce you if you won't meet his/her needs without expecting reciprocation, then you might recognize that is a form of abuse and end the marriage or allow the marriage to end.
I agree with this and I think that most people on this BB would agree with this but... I think the thing that is tricky is figuring out A)how much of a mind reader you are supposed to be regarding this and B)what is a reasonable demand/need. For instance, Martelo's wife said "I need you to be patient.". Is this a reasonable demand?. Or consider my H saying that I need to be less "nerdy". Is this a reasonable demand? Is it reasonable to make any demand that isn't spelled out in a concrete fashion? For instance, if Martelo's wife felt like she wanted him to be "patient" because she had body image problems and she needed time to work on them, would it be Martelo's responsibility to keep pushing the conversation until she said "I need you to give me 3 mos. to work on this specific problem and then I will address the sexual issue."? Is it my responsibility to figure out just what there is about my behavior that is obnoxiously "nerdy" and therefore a turn-off?
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
