"We can talk about that later, right now I would like to discuss a plan for the lack of sex in our marriage that can be implemented within one week."
Or *what*?
OR:
I'm no longer wiling to invest time or effort into meeting your EN's because I'm not willing to invest in a relationship in which my feelings and experiences aren't valued. I'm not willing to invest in a relationship that does not include solving problems I HAVE inside the relationship. Therefore, you should expect me to: (my suggestion would be) to be less invested in continuing to do work on the list you have provided for me and will begin investing in myself.
But, Harry has to figure out just what price he is willing to pay. If the answer is none, then his life will continue on the path it is currently on until some sweet thing makes his heart go twitter and he finds it amazingly easy to pay that price.
OR: I am no longer enthusiastic about doing any of those things. If that causes problems for you, I am open to negotiation as long as it involves solving some issues I have with the relationship, too.
OR:
You can move to higher risk strategies. And, if you have the rare partner who truly isn't worried about WHAT you do or wants to divorce you if you won't meet his/her needs without expecting reciprocation, then you might recognize that is a form of abuse and end the marriage or allow the marriage to end.
What he doesn't have to do is to continue jumping through hoops and yes ma'aming her every controlling whim in the hopes that she might dole out some tidbit of care for him.
