I have no idea if you will leave the R once your daughter leaves home. I'm pretty sure you stay because your R meets some litmus test of not being "bad enough" to leave while your child is at home.
I guess it boils down to - what do you like about your H as a person and as a spouse and do those things balance out the things that you don't like?
What I hope for you is that your H gets a clue at some point and considers whether or not this is the way he wants to live. I'm sure he has some aspirations for himself and his homelife but he needs to recognize that he could probably get what he wants with you IF he talked about it, made some personal effort.
