"I don't think that a change in my mental attitude will be enough."
Yes it is.
I come back to this board after many months and everyone is still dealing with the same sh*t. In fact, the conversations are almost verbatim of what they were 2 years ago. I miss all you guys and our discussions, but they really are not that helpful FOR THE MARRIAGE. It's nice to have friends though, so I get it. BUT dwelling on how crappy the M is, is not beneficial. My M is not that different now than it was before (in terms of the sex), but we are at some level of peace now. It feels great. Not getting the nookie, but I feel love and respect for my H again. I made lots of mistakes on this board and outside the board but I have learned a lot too. Micro-analyzing every M interaction is NOT the answer. If you say something "concrete" needs to happen, you may be waiting forever. You all sound miserable. I UNDERSTAND, I have been there. BF hit me over the head with the 2x4 many times about how whiny and annoying I sounded. Well, as someone who is somewhat more objective now, I am hitting all your heads in return. Feel free to ignore me as I know you will but maybe someone will take it to heart. Hopefully this board is about growth and not just a pissing match. I really do mean this in the most sincere of ways. Hope it comes across that way. I care about you guys. I truly believe most of the M on this board are going to be just fine. But you need to mentally believe it first. Take care.
