Let this sink in; YOU HAVE A TON OF POSITIVES IN YOUR SITCH!
This is all about attitude. One of the best ways for you to maintain a positive attitude is to take some credit for what you have accomplished. Don't focus on negative thoughts and negative feelings. Focus on the many positives YOU have accomplished.
* You have turned you H around. He was on the way out and your efforts have him noticing the changes. He just isn't sure they are permanent. * You have done this BY YOURSELF. Take some credit. What you are doing and accomplishing in idfentify the changes you need and want to make is speaking volumes about your character. Your character is your foundation, the core of who you are. Be proud of that. There are many people who can't hold a candle to you. * Your kids don't like the situation. This also speaks to your character and what both of you as parents have instilled in their character. I see your kids as an ally for you. YOU MUST NEVER USE THEM FOR THIS PURPOSE. This is their choice, but this came from you as a parent. Speaks volumes.
This is all VERY positive stuff. There are many people here who wish they were in a your shoes. Your challenge is to maintain your dignity, keep working on your changes and end each day looking in the mirror, asking yourself if you are proud of what you accomplished. If the answer is yes, pat yourself on the back. This is an extremely difficult time in your life. You are surviving. The effort you put in will relate directly to how well you thrive. If you answer yourself no, make every effort to identify what and why it didn't work, then move forward with determination. YOU CAN DO THIS!
I feel for you sj, I've had the same thoughts racing through my head. The same confusion with trying to differentiate emotion and thought. What do I do, what do I say? I know what I want to say, but is it what I feel?
Do you have someone close you can talk to? Someone who supports you in what you are trying to accomplish. Someone in your corner cheering you on? It really helps.
Try some of these sites. http://www.family.org www.marriagebuilders.com http://www.smartmarriages.com All of these will give you better insight into what you are dealing with. As with anything we don't understand, we should try to educate ourselves before we set out on a solution.
You really are doing better than you know. Make the list of what is working for you. Refresh your efforts by reviewing the list.
Your H is noticing your efforts!!! SHOW him they are permanent. Time is your ally.
