I also agree with Mrs. NOP, the fewer words used the better. Mrs. HD is a warrior with words in her career-- let's not have a courtroom scene at home.
blackfoot wrote:
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Cobra has combined the two, but he could have had success without the FOO discussions. It just helps him feeling his actions are justified and 'right'.
This is a brilliant insight, bf. I think you're exactly right. Not that the FOO stuff isn't relevant, but the present moment is more relevant. But I agree that cobra feels the need to "back up" his legitimate wishes (again, very 5-- the 5 is the scientist and always needs "more information" in order to feel on solid ground). I don't think hairdog needs to fall into this trap, that, as Mrs. N put it, appears under his feet every time he brings up the subject with Mrs. HD. FOO or no FOO, what hairdog wants is reasonable, and to open the Pandora's Door to the Past will only give Mrs. HD plenty of material to use to distract and deflect.
And Burgud, everything you say is true. HD could make those statements, and they would be true. But what HD needs is to focus on the behavioral change that he is requesting: s once a week. Telling his wife what he "deserves" will just send the convo down a winding path into the deep, dark, featureless piney woods from whence it will never emerge. She's a lawyer, she knows how to argue, she knows how to argue someone into the ground, to discredit their pov-- therefore DON'T ARGUE with her. Just say what you want and then rest.
