Mojo, when you were talking about your H, you focused on his intelligence and his looks as if those two things were his only salient features. Hel-LO! What about his mopiness, his sour attitude, his way of attempting to bring you down when you're up, his lack of emotional support, his toying with the family security and your sanity by threatening to quit his job whenever he gets in a "mood"-- I mean, you can call him "abusive," and maybe make a case for it, but you don't have to go that far: he is just unsupportive, immature, and a general drag to be around EXCEPT during those few moments when he comes out of himself (like at the mortgage office). But can you reliably COUNT on him to come out of himself on a regular basis? To me these things are a lot more relevant to whether you would want to stay married to him than intelligence OR looks.
Why have you reduced him to only those two things and left out the most important: being a guy who appreciates you and whom you can count on?
