I get that intelligence is a turn on for you. It's true for me as well. But in a long term relationship, would an intelligent man who is emotionally abusive still turn you on? I think what you are saying here is that the real turn on is being cared about, loved, and treated nicely...and that is really healthy.
Hmmm.... I would like to say "No Way! I could never be turned on by an emotionally abusive intelligent man." but I would be sort of lying. I could have sex with Dick Cheney and it might even be pretty smokin'. The true healthy thing I might say would be "I would choose to leave a relationship in which I was emotionally abused even though I was still turned on by the abuser's intelligence.". That is I HOPE that if I was functioning on a healthy level I would be LD for such a relationship even if I wasn't LD for the sex within the relationship. Actually, what I really should say is that I would hope that I could assert myself or create boundaries in such a relationship that either the abusive behavior would stop or the abuser would leave.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
