I know your desire to help is well intended, but the truth is, the best you can do is be a model for your W. I let my H deal with is stuff and do little more than listen and validate. However, when he asks me about my day, i frequently go through my thought process on situations I've dealt with.

Really, it's been kind of freaky to hear him repeating phrases I've used with him...."i won't let my value be determined by my job," or, "It is what it is," or, "In the end that's his problem, not mine."

Just live your life transparently, and I think you'll see better results than trying to help W "fix" her sitch. It's all part of letting go of the responsibility of making our S happy...that's just not our business....

SD

Me: 40
H: 43
H had EA from 2/06-9/06
Bomb 5/06
Piecing since 9/2006
3/2008: Boundary setting
7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb.
8/2010: Marriage finally on track!