Cobra, your plan reminds me of the story about the kid who asked his father, "Where did I come from?" The father tenses up and realizes the moment has come for The Talk. The father has been armed with books and has carefully planned how he will react to this question. He wants to be sensitive, give accurate information about sex, nothing too scary or heavy, and yet convey the beauty and mystery of reproduction. He sits the kid down with the books and begins to tell him the facts of life. At the end, the father is sweaty but satisfied that he has introduced his son in the best way possible to the deep subject of sex. The kid says, "Yeah, I know all about that stuff. Mom told me two years ago. It's just that Bobby came from New Jersey, and I wanted to know where I come from."
You can't know what Mrs. HD wants... all any of us can do is speculate. But we do know what HD wants-- he wants regular intimate contact. If he can get Mrs. HD to agree to that, the trust, the closeness, the affection will follow-- or it won't.
You're suggesting a very convoluted route to a vague destination. Have you forgotten that they were in MC together for a long time? She is an old-timey rabid feminist and does not believe it is possible for a man and woman to BE on the same team. She's a divorce lawyer, so she comes in contact with men at their worst.
I agree that whatever HD does, he must press and not back down. Another reason why I think his approach has to be clean and clear, and not bogged down with psychobabble and FOO stuff. Some people would be receptive to that approach (like me, for instance), but that will just be giving her more opportunity to deflect and distract.
As for getting her to soften up-- remember the "I promise to be a better wife" talk that was forgotten with the dawn?
He needs to state what he wants-- period. Without defending it or getting into a debate about whether what he wants is reasonable. I'm surprised the confrontational approach does not appeal to you.
