I would agree with your that the dominant male/submissive female model does not seem consistent. What I do see as consistent is the need for each person to find comfort and security, whatever that might be, from their spouse. At one time early in the relationship, that comfort was given. Later, either the comfort dwindled, or the need for comfort increased (because latent fears keep pushing for more and more security).
From this perspective, any deteriorating relationship makes sense, even if the dominant male/submissive female roles persist or diminish. If the changing needs for soothing and security can be identified, as well as the giving of security and soothing by the partner, then all the relationship dynamics discussed on this board make sense. Schnarch, Dieda, Schlessinger, Harley, and everyone else we’ve discussed come together to highlight and address different aspects of this overall adult attachment dynamic.
