I'm glad I could offer you some enlightenment... but... sorry to tell you, I'm not LD.
My xH used to go 'passive' on me in the bedroom and he'd lay there with expectancy. It's the attitude. I'm sure I could have applied my methods to him, but there were so many other things off in our M, I doubt it would have made much of a difference.
Honeypot talks about 'wanting to please her H.' I understand that notion. There is healthy respect in that notion, for both herself and her H, and the M.
When respect is gone between two people... trust and communication, honesty and vulnerability... fly out the window. So it isn't so much about going passive, really, and allowing someone to explore their sexuality (although that can be a part of it, given the right conditions.
It's about respect. You always have to keep that in the forefront, at least, that's what I think.
