Even though H as filed you have several months in which anything can happen. Don't know which state you are but since there is a child involved, the D is not going to be quick so you have time on your side still. Just incase my sitch gets that far I have done a lot of researching and rather than using lawyers you could request mediation (it's a lot cheaper too). Basically makes the spouses communicate and come to an agreement with someone mediating so no arguments etc. I have heard stories of these mediations actually making people realize that they DON'T want a D after all, once they were forced to communicate about serious issues in a neutral environment. I hope your sitch never gets that far but my point is that you still have time and H may even stop the proceedings. But you have to be consistent and not "lose it" and set yourself back months. Have you read How to Divorce as Friends? It's a website with some good articles, not necessarily about D'ing but about potentially saving your M:
If H no longer wanted you in his life then he wouldn't live in the same house - even with different shifts. Especially since you were already living with your parents. So I think you have that as a big positive. My H left the home and yet we still have many positive interactions so I am not giving up yet. The fact that H made a list of conditions says to me that he is not over you. Why bother with any of that if he doesn't care? My guess is that he is hurting so much that laying down the rules gives him some "power" back (after feeling so helpless when finding out about the A). Keep a PMA and be attentive to him. It's hard for people not to be nice in return of good gestures. But don't expect big changes. Look for the baby steps. If no steps then be happy if there have been no setbacks.
Don't give up.
Me 36 ring on H 41 ring off S2 Together since 1992 Married: 2000 Bomb Aug 06 H moved out Oct 06 (and straight in with OW)
