It wasn't a good day for me after visit from W. I should have known better than to give her the opportunity to pick at my emotional scares. I think she enjoys trying to make me feel bad about myself. There is a pattern here that I ignored thinking it was just irrational thought on my part, but whenever I'm feeling really good about my future and start to really move on, the W starts in on the reconciliation spiel. After a positive response from me, she then goes and slams the door on my face all over again. It's so damn frustrating, this is the last time.
A good friend of mine who I have confided in gave me some good advice that I need to heed. He told me that I really have to make a decision about my future goals and stick to achieving them no matter how much W tries to manipulate my emotions. I have to make the decision at this point to leave this marriage behind and start a new life for myself. I can no longer give her the decision because she's not capable of making it on her own. I didn't want to end it, I took responsibility for my part in it, I tried as best I could to save it, but I failed. I just can't do this anymore. I have to stick to that decision.
I'm not listening to anymore talk about reconciliation. I don't know what her motive is for it and I just don't care anymore, it's not with honest intentions. I really need to get this behind me. My last stumbling block is the sale of our house and until that happens, I'm going to have to learn how to deal with her and recognize/ignore her manipulative tactics while maintaining a healthy relationship with my boys.
Her and jail bird really deserve each other. What a reality check she's in for. She's been so delusional for so long, she doesn't have a clue!
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
