It just feels like he has totally dominated and broken her, rather then given her any emotional goodies so that she can lovingly surrender. In that sense, she has actually defeated him by giving him 'whatever he wants', but he is not getting what he needs, and is still unsatisfied. so now the will'o'the'wisp is a word called desire.
I actually have believed for some time that the opposite is true. I believe that Ms. Cemar has dominated, not necessarily because she is domineering, but because Cemar has left a hole in the relationship where the man ought to be. She, in her active, organized way has flowed into it and filled the hole, making Cemar superfluous in his own marriage.
Following are some disjointed thoughts on the man/woman thing.
I've been pondering the dynamic for some of the men on the forum whose wives initially exhibited a high sexual drive, who sexually pursued their husband, and who then later dropped back to "just think of England" type sex or no sex at all.
I've been dabbling through The Superior Man and pondering the aspects of polarity he discusses. And have been dwelling on the relational dynamics of strong (masculine core) women being married to softer (feminine core) men. I know we're all familar with that old saw that opposites attract. But, if that held true, then stronger woman and softer man should continue to hold attraction later in the relationship. As the woman continued from her strong position and as the husband continued delving deeper into the softer/submissive position then the logic of opposites attracting would continue to hold.
But that isn't how it seems to work.
My observations see the stronger woman steadily losing respect (if there ever was much) for her spouse while she becomes more and more domineering and demanding and minimizing him (and even his position and functioning) in the realtionship.
Softer husband is looking around trying to figure out what changed.
So, I step back and look into the time prior to the marriage. I envision shy, introverted, geeky (fill in the blank here for men who aren't making the BMOC top ten lists. They have either never attempted to pursue and date a woman, or they tried and it didn't turn out to be a pleasant experience.
Then comes along strong woman. She may or may not be beautiful or popular herself, but she's assertive. She spots Mr. Sensitive, ignores his shy shell and pushes through. I wonder how many of the men here were either approached by their future wife first, or their future wife pushed the relationship forward by asking/arranging the date, the engagement, the sex.
And she initiates the sex. The blowjobs. The daylong sexual marathons. And Mr. Sensitive is participating and loving it, but is he doing any leading?
I don't care how many rabid feminists (please note this description does not include women who merely focus on women's rights) try to push against gender roles, nature still will out.
So, Ms. Assertive loses respect for Mr. Senstive because there is no (or not enough) reciprocal manliness to balance her. Respect can quickly turn to apathy and sometimes move on to disgust.
And it's all pretty unfair - because Mr. Sensitive didn't really change.
But he's going to have to, if he ever hopes to see his situation improve.
