Found your thread friend! I just finished going over your sitch and I have to say you have a lot of work ahead of you but it's definitely doable. My question is, if you signed the divorce papers? Unless I missed that part, it could be that he is at this moment weighing things. Playing different scenarios in his head as to how it would be 1,2 or 3 years down the road for him (maybe even you), should he choose to give your M a chance and vice versa. I know I am and you know my sitch.
Good job on the garden though. The positives, you still live together, is agreeable to being friends and doesn't mind your interactions with his family. My own opinion (guy's POV this time:)) is that if those positives are still in place, then he must still want you. I mean granted you are the mother of our daughter, if I was so hurt that I felt it was time to end the hurt by D'ing, I wouldn't even agree to those terms. I certainly wouldn't want to be reminded everytime I see you right? But no, this is exactly the opposite.
Divorce since I don't believe in it is just another piece of paper and doesn't necessarily reflect the current state of the relationship (except in some cases where abuse and/or addiction, etc. are involved) itself at least to both of you. You two are the only ones that can say where you two stand. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you may be divorced and still be together who knows! It could also be that he needs this for closure so he can start a new one with YOU!
As mentioned in Michelle's book, if and when you get your M back, would you want your old M back. Isn't the old M the one that got you in this predicament in the first place. People get divorced and remarry. Or who knows this can all change before the divorce is final. Bottomline is GAL, 180, DB to make yourself feel good and attractive. I don't think I need to elaborate as to who you probably want to look attractive to right.;)
Show remorse but let go of the past. I think in my case and this may be what your H is looking for as well, I need to hear and feel the remorse. It doesn't matter how many times. Once could very well be enough but I have to be convinced to be able to let go. Just my .02 cents. Hang in there!
