my H has never encouraged me to cook and has, in fact, discouraged me with various negative comments along the way. And because of my own issues, I bought into the idea that I am incompetent at cooking. The healthy part of me is winning out now... I can cook, I can enjoy sex, I am ok. The unhealthy part of H still tries to sabotage, but underneath I do feel he wants a " regular" wife.
By my being so non-regular, H was able to tune me out and get gratification from the outside world ( this is the 3 in him). Having the distance and lack of intimacy " worked" for him.
I am so happy this is turning around. In reality, we are just two regular everyday people...yet it's amazing how our perceptions and thoughts can lead to more and more dysfunction.
