LOL we cross posted. I added a reply to your thread because I wanted to emphasize what the C said about getting to the root of the problem and unhappiness. We can fight the symptoms and confront them all day long and it still be a cheeseless tunnel. For instance, I feel hurt when we don't ML, but that's not the root of the problem.. the not ML. The root is that I feel unloved, undesired and rejected. So I have to check what's happening and see if the truth is that I'm unloved, undesired and rejected. In the past, the truth would be yes.. that I'm living with a man that doesn't desire me and I'd have to choose whether or not to take action on that. For now though, the truth is that I am desired, but I feel that way because I'm holding onto the past. Before I speak up, speak out and take action, I have to be sure that it'll fix the root problem. Sometimes it will mean that I need J to change something, or do something. Sometimes, I'll have to change myself or let go of something, and I'm sure at times, it's going to mean taking action that I don't want to take. Such as, I have a friendship that needs to be ended because the root problem is that this friend is disrespectful and controlling. I can't demand that she change who she is. I've told her how I feel though and now have to end the friendship because it's unhealthy for me and yeah, maybe she'd change someday, but I'm not willing to invest that much to see.
