So what do you do when your spouse is broken up one day and cheerful the next?
Honestly,
You just come to expect that sort of thing. In the early phases of Replay for Sweetheart...and much longer for many, this is like Bipolar--rapidly cycling bipolar.
She very likely is contacting the OM. He's an addiction. Have you read the link on the thread started by Iwondertoo? Here it is...
What do you want? What is your threshold? What are yuou willing to go through and accept to Stand for your marriage?
It gets worse MUCH worse before it gets better. So think about that...and believe it. MAny...perhaps most...don't believe. I believed when they told me and thus I prepared myself emottionally. I feel that helped me handle this.
I'm a Stander...that means I don't believe in divorce...that is beyond I don't want a divorce. Many Stand, but are not as morally opposed to divorce. What are you? Either or neither ifs acceptable. But it can help us in how we help you.
When Sweetheart cycled emotionally...or when he got low and just stayed there...I left and went for walks. Left and went to one of my favourite places with a soothing water fountain. Busied myself. I knew that I did not have the power to cheer him up. He HAD to go through that Depression.
Prepare yourself by reading...at least the basics on MLC, Infidelity and Depression. A foundational understanding is helful to prepare yourself emotionally and offer compassion. To go into greater depths in studies depends...I do it and if I had the finances I'd choose it as a career...there are a few of us here that are doing that. But for others--most probably--to study beyond the basics is to take away the focus from themselves and overanalyze, always wonder what he or she is thinking, feeling doing...it keeps one in the panic and fear rather than releases.
So study the basics...and then or while doing that find a hobby or passion of your own. I also studied meditation, hypnotherapy, energy healing... Maybe you would like tot ake up photography, painting, sculpting, fly fishing...
You can do this...and when you release expectation of ease and expediency it will become easier. It's your jounrey too.
