The thing I find most unappealing about your posts, and typcially why I avoid responding to you anymore, is I can well imagine that if you found a 'pill' that is guaranteed to change your wife into an HD woman, who desires you all the time, you'd buy it, slip it into her drink without her being aware, and start having the time of your life in the sack. She'd never be the wiser, and you'd move on with life.
You seem to be looking for THE FORMULA that works in getting your wife to change. You will apply it, to the letter, as long as you get your desired outcome. Kinda takes the other person completely out of the equation, doesn't it?
As a woman on the receiving end of that attitude, especially if she views divorce as a non-option as you do, I'd give up the game myself. Perhaps this is what you are actually experiencing. She's given up.
You certainly cannot make another feel desire... for anything, including sex. That comes from within. I guess that is why everyone is on you about becoming someone who is worth being desired. You aren't getting the sex you want anyway... so why not take the time you have, and make YOU the best YOU can be?
If you are fine with Who You Are, exactly as you are, then I'd say to you, 'why are you griping?' Obviously, you are not happy. That does NOT attract a 'happy' person to you.
All the 'leading' in the world won't get you what you want from another, if you are simply 'leading' to get something from the person you are leading. I'm getting this whole scenario view in my head of some guy coaxing a kid to get into his car for the lollipop. Ewh.
When you get as far down on the unhappiness scale as you have, it is hard to find your hope, and your light at the end of the tunnel. I'm wondering if you might not be depressed yourself? Have you thought, maybe, of seeing your own doctor? It may help you climb out of the hole you seem to be in. Problem is, when you are in that hole, it's hard to see it, it's hard to think rationally or logically, and hence, many people don't seek out the help they really need to climb out.
I'm sorry for you, dear man. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, though.
