Quoting DavidinCT: I've wanted to get involved in volunteering for both charitable and social reasons (+ to get me out of the house). I've found it difficult because my absence was one of the issues in our marriage.
Then by all means don't continue this(being absent) behavior now.
Quote: I am also reluctant to turn down time with my kids at this point (even though it is at home and my wife truly believes that I am a good father).
That is certainly understandable
Quote: Having said all of that, on Monday I am helping with the local center for homeless women with children (great setup...they stay for six months, get counseling, training in work skills, etc.). All I am doing at first is helping with their annual party for the "clients" (residents). I'll do more later. My oldest daughter (13) said she would like to come with me...all the better.
Sounds unpredictable, that's good and great that your D13 wants to go too.
Quote: This is a bit of a change although my wife is skeptical of this type of thing as she thinks I am trying to impress her (not true...this is for me).
If this is making her wonder about you in some way and not part of the status quo then it should be a positive thing.
Quote: My wife and I are going to dinner with the kids on Saturday and she and I alone are going to a movie on Sunday. Generally I think that these are good things, however lots of good times in the past three months have not led to a change of heart.
David if your wife is in MLC it's going to take more then 3 months for a change of heart. It sounds like what you are doing is working so keep it up and don't get discouraged.
Quote: This might suggest a 180 is appropriate, but it doesn't feel right to abandon friendly contact.
You don't necessarily need to especially, if your wife's complaint was not enough time spent with her
Quote: I keep hoping for a breakthrough,
Some times you have to string together small baby steps to see that things are going in the right direction.
Quote: but I think non-pressuring good activities seem desirable.
If that is working then continue doing so.
David, have you read up on MLC? Have you been to the MLC Forum? I would check it out and get as much information as you can on MLC
Quote: In general, it is hard to know what to do because by the time I commute home for New York City, eat, spend time with my daughters there is only about an hour left.
What you've been doing seems to be working.
Quote: I guess I could spend less quality time with spouse, but I am reluctant.
What is your thinking on why you would spend less quality time with your W if having quality time was one of her complaints?
