I'm doing some things. I've wanted to get involved in volunteering for both charitable and social reasons (+ to get me out of the house). I've found it difficult because my absence was one of the issues in our marriage. I am also reluctant to turn down time with my kids at this point (even though it is at home and my wife truly believes that I am a good father).
Having said all of that, on Monday I am helping with the local center for homeless women with children (great setup...they stay for six months, get counseling, training in work skills, etc.). All I am doing at first is helping with their annual party for the "clients" (residents). I'll do more later. My oldest daughter (13) said she would like to come with me...all the better.
This is a bit of a change although my wife is skeptical of this type of thing as she thinks I am trying to impress her (not true...this is for me).
Listed below are some other thoughts that I posted on another string:
My wife and I are going to dinner with the kids on Saturday and she and I alone are going to a movie on Sunday. Generally I think that these are good things, however lots of good times in the past three months have not led to a change of heart.
This might suggest a 180 is appropriate, but it doesn't feel right to abandon friendly contact. I keep hoping for a breakthrough, but I think non-pressuring good activities seem desirable. I am curious about your thoughts.
In general, it is hard to know what to do because by the time I commute home for New York City, eat, spend time with my daughters there is only about an hour left. I have been working out regularly in the morning (5:00 AM...ouch) which has been good (great morale boost...you've got to love the post-divorce announcement depression related weight loss).
I guess I could spend less quality time with spouse, but I am reluctant.
I am a little curious how a little time apart will affect her thoughts. I am in Europe for two days next week (Thur & Fri.). I usually have to travel a lot for my work, but have avoided all trips since the announcement. Brining a little bit of normalcy back will help (and also help me remain employed).
