Hi David,

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She is still very concerned about the kids. Her counselor validates her thinking that it is best for the kids.


Have you met this “counselor” has she/he ever spoken to you or is the C going on what your W has said?

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It's hard not to engage in pursuing behaviors when still at home. I am trying to make changes in myself (for my own good as well as for the relationship). However, most of these changes involve being somewhat more attentive and involved. My nature, these are also pursuing activities. It's hard to know what to do here.


Yes, you walk a fine line when living at home while Dbing and trying not to be perceived as pursuing. It’s important to show her your warm, fun, caring side. I use to hole up in my room with the kids and we would laugh very loudly and have fun. (I spent a lot of time in my room trying to give him as much space as possible). How can you be a strong, loving, fun, presence without pursuing? You seem to be doing some self-evaluation which is crucial to this process. That is good. I'm sure you will begin to come up with ways to be your best self around her and the children.

I'm wondering about what your lawyer said. You mean if your wife is the one that walks that you won't be able to get the kids the majority of the time? Are you considering 50/50? I admire your choice to keep things amicable and with that in mind don't you still have the right to having the kids at least half the time?

Where I am going with this is A lot of times it's good to let the WA do all the work for the divorce(they want it you don't) and because they want to leave and you don't they need to be the ones to leave,you don't want the divorce why are you leaving your home? I know this is very tricky and you don't want to create hostility from your wife but also, you don't want to just give up your rights either. Unless you were verbally or physically abusive,(If you were that's a different ball game) she is walking away and should have to live with that choice. Perhaps you thought of all that.

Yes, this is all miserable and the children are the real losers.

Thanks for asking about me, I'm hanging in there. If you know of a good way to make money at home then you could help me, cause right now my biggest challenges are financial.

gotta run will try to post an update on my sit. soon.

Take care, Kansha