Retrouvaille is very clear in stating, that their agenda is to save marriages. What I told my H was:that yes, this is their agenda but from everything I have read from people who have attended, is that Retrouvaille will help us to really decide what is really the best choice for us and it will help us to heal and to communicate whether we divorce or not. I also emphasized that Retrouvaille was for severely damaged marriages that appear to have no hope of reconciling and not for those who were committed to working on their marriages and staying together no matter what.(this was my understanding of the weekend at the time, gotten from Dbers who had done the weekend) ( Now, that I have done it, I think that just about any couple could benifit from the technique introduced in the weekend)
I had to pick and choose what exactly I said to my H, edit some of the communication from Retrouvaille ( I never gave him their communications directly, I always e-mailed him a paraphrased version and took out some of the things that I knew he would have trouble with. I did not lie to him, I just tried to make it more palatable to his mind set.
I told my H that we were intelligent enough not to be brain washed by their agenda and that we can use the weekend for what our goals are (We had already set some goals such as healing, communication and counseling) and make our own conclusions based on our own needs.
Of course this came after 3-4 years of his MLC and my DBing. If I had said all this in the beginning, it most likely would have fallen on deaf ears because then my H had no listening for anything other then what he wanted at that second and that was away from me and to be with OW. But my H never said he wanted a divorce and he didn't move out even though he said he wanted too. Perhaps, if divorce would have been immenent, I might have requested that he attend the weekend as a LAST RESORT but I never did until just recently and by then we had set some goals and were sorting things out.
I would call the location nearest you and ask them your question about what questions they ask as I have forgotten and it may be slightly different at each location.
In my interview, they did not require me to answer these questions out loud. If you can prepare your H ahead of time for the questions and reframe them for his context( to help you, to better your communication, to heal) he may see some value in going.
