Thanks guys, I knew I could count on you. I wonder if the whole upset has been blown up to those proportions because I've been having a lot of doubts lately...life goes on and sometimes ( or most of the time) we slip back to the old habits and routines because our minds and bodies are so used to them....we both started to do it and I got freaked out and over reacted. Anyway, I had another blow up this weekend (oh , we ended up talking on Tuesday night about the problems and it was okay) and even though at that time I was furious with things (back to old habits it seemed) now with the clear had I can say that my H realy does love me and realy does want to do things in a way that would show his love for me. I just have to re-instate the 24 hr rule (minature version of maybe 24 minutes?) and don't react to something until I think it through.
I definitelly fall back on the advices I received right from the beginning. I got to tell you though, my H said to me that when I became all sexual and sensual early on when he still wanted the D and nothing else- I freaked him out. I do believe that the persistance and show that it's here to stay and not to entice and drop definitelly did a lot of good. Other changes in me as well - ability to talk about the issues and not just do the silent treatment and then a big blow up. Being appreciative of things he did at that time as well as the things he did in the past and I did not tell him/showed him that I appreciated. Owing up to a lot of things that before I just hid back as a dark secret...there is no one magic thing I did but rather the combination of them all.
Good job Crushed. There's no reason to sabotage all that amazing work you went through by falling back into old habits. It puts a smile on my face to see you and your husband doing well. Just remember what you want and stay focused.
Well...I guess I got what I wanted! On Tuesday my H showed up at the door with flowers....it was so sweet! He even took a later bus home to be able to grab them. He wanted to greet me with those at the door and since it was my day off I was there to receive them just as he wanted to. We are having month packed with "together" activities - parties, concerts etc. Reading my first post on this thread I feel silly for reacting so strongly - everyone has bad days, it's just a matter how we handle them. I did not do a good job but my H and I were able to work through it and that shows how much we grew through it all.....
Good for you, for working it out, Crushed. I still have bad days too, but I try and get over them as quickly as possible. I think our H's are clever enough that they realise that there will be those days, and one can only hope that they are there for us, as your H was.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
It's great to hear that your R is at a strong place now. Some how I knew you would get rid of the crazymaking and get back on track. I'm sure it feels good for you to have a good H back again. Get that smile back on your face and enjoy the day.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
