Just remember... you don't lose anything by trying, or even working on your marriage single-handedly. I did that for many years (and I didn't even have an affair!!!). You'll learn a lot about relationships and yourself. Difficult times, loneliness and pain only make us stronger.
The thing to hope for is that he wakes up at some point and realizes you've changed and are want to have a healthy family (and that's the goal!!! with or without him). Another thing... keep in mind he has a lot of anger to work through and that can take a lot of time. Also, many people don't have the insight to work through it easily (and sadly there are some people that don't make it through this... that's just the way it is. Not everyone has the strenght or insight... so focus on you and your children, try to be a friend to him regardless of what he does with your friendship, etc..... that's really the best you can do).
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
