He said he's seeing someone new

[Ophelia]

My PMA is kinda all over the place, to be honest. Sometimes I feel a bit better, then things happen like getting a letter from his freaking lawyer and everything gets shot to hell. I do feel like I've got a pretty good read on things, but it doesn't inspire me towards a positive outcome. So I kinda know what the deal is, but I don't like it, so it's not really helping me be optimistic about anything.

My PMA is always pretty crap first thing when I wake up each day. Almost every single night H is in my dreams, and they're almost always good dreams. I don't often remember the details, but I do know that usually we'll start out apart, but by the end of the dream we'll end up together. Sometimes we'll end up making out, or ML. Sometimes it'll just be that he's reached out and actually spoken to me. Sometimes he's come to me for help, apologising for all the hurt he's caused, and ended up crying in my arms. The common thread is always that we end up with some kind of contact by the end of the dream. Then the second I wake up, I realise that in the waking world, I'm probably not gonna speak to him, hear from him or see him for weeks to come, and it feels like a punch in the guts and I just wanna stay in bed asleep all day just so I can be with him in my dreams because I miss him so damn much when I'm awake. It often takes a seemingly superhuman effort to actually haul myself out of bed and away from the dreamworld to face the real world for another day.