I agree if he is looking at it he is thinking about sex, just not with me! For years I was concerned he was fooling around or had some fetish he was not willing to talk about, or that he may be Gay. His best friend said he was wierd when they were younger, women would come onto my H and he would make out with them for show but rarely go home with any of them (the friend says the ones he did go home with were the sluttier ones).
I was so convinced that it was me, that I encouraged him to be with other women hoping he would have some sort of epipheny and leave me or get aroussed somehow again, that is when he stopped going out entirely come to think of it. I think the suggestion he be with other women was very ill-directed on my part and coming from an irrational place. Actually I read some article suggesting it as a solution and that got me started (foolish). I will still make every effort to see if he is having an affair of some kind and will not close the door on that notion. He has been at work every time I have called, he comes home immediately after by 4pm. Sometimes I stop in unannounced he is always there. Only men work in the office. The last time he was out on his own other than with my Dad, they are always golfing etc...was about 6 months ago and he was with mutual friends of ours at the bar.
Even my parents are aware of our issues and think it is really upsetting, they love him dearly, but my mom said her heart is breaking for me. My parents have a really close intimate relationship and have always had outstanding communication. My mom thinks he is really repressed and that he doesn't want to face his emotions because it is to scary. We never argue or fight except about this when I bring it up, he avoids conflict at all cost, meaning he will say whatever it takes to get out of the situation at the time. I am just reading up on the Whore/Madonna complex and it sure fits in with my husband. If u happen to read this again was this complex the main issue u dealt with in therapy or one of many? Did it help? Thanx everyone!
