Hi HP! I am in a similar place...H is pretty much the initiator, and I am relatively LD and go with the flow. Overall, I actually find this a good place to be. I'd like to feel my desire more, but I'm ok once we get going. And I am getting the chance to work on some more intimate connection.
There are times when my H wants to feel something more from me, and I know I need to work on this too. The other night we had a particularly weird interaction. H was cuddled up next to me, almost the way a little child would be to his mother, and I was thinking "ugh" thoughts. I assumed it would just be a sexless night, but then he brings up the fact that I never initiate. I had zero feeling to want to initiate under those conditions, and he challenges me. It was all very confusing and I felt sorry for myself in that moment. But I think what was happening was he needed a break from being the "leader" and just wanted to be wanted and was infantile about it. I didn't initiate anything because I don't want to reward him for what I see as regressive behavior. I do want to reward him, but I am not sure what that will look like.
I think I am ramblind right now and S12 is about to come home...just wanted to say I kind of get what you are going through.
