Things are still pretty good

[LoginName]

having a very large amount of self-esteem/security right now

How did you acheive that? I'm assumng it took some time. Did C help with that?

I felt a sense of relief that finally she talked

I'm looking forward to the day my W finally talks,about a lot of things. I hope that day comes.

Then I had to learn to deal with the pain of realizing that the woman I loved spent a large part of her life now not caring about me.

I keep having to have this lesson pounded home. I guess I don't have to even understand how this happened, just accept that it did - and that I can't control it.

I had to learn that I actually LIKED the pain

I've caught myself enjoying the pain. I try to let myself feel the real pain, and if I start to enjoy it, I try to stop. I'm glad you admit to this too. I feel most people don't admit to enjoying their self pity, but my guess is most do.

then learning to vent the "real" pain and allow yourself to get past it

Tricky. Not something I have much practice doing, or examples to copy.

P.S. Did you change screen names?

Yes I did. I got paranoid that my W was reading my posts. Also, I moved to MLC. I don't feel I'm piecing just yet, although hopefully close. I read someone's post about not using real names in case the Spouse was checking, and based on some other things too, thought it a good idea to change names and move. Now I think I was paranoid. But, hey, could be fun anyway.