OC, We are totally going through the same thing. Although, I know that my H and OW are having PA and that won't change until it's completely done. He feels bad for OW, too - just like your H. I think the changes in their emotions from minute to minute means that they don't know what they want to do. They are totally on the fence right now.
H does treat me well and is trying for the most part to be a good H and father. He's trying to be more present in our household, help around the house. We are also ML tons and it's kind of freaking H out. He doesn't think it will last... That's always been our biggest issue anyway. We have stayed up many nights just talking about everything since he let the cat out of the bag.
We have our arguments about the OW still and I try not to say things that are too judgemental. I just asked him for total honesty and not to say that he is cutting ties when he really isn't. And, if he is really going to do it, then it needs to be 100% no contact. Otherwise, don't even act like that's what you are going to do. In the meantime, OW has big drama in her life and I am convinced that being with her will mean drama after drama after drama.
It is all so darn confusing and I do need to try to control my negativity. I told him again the other night that he should just go and be with her. Needless to say it was another all-nighter and this time H was talking me out of leaving.. UGH!!
