I feel stumped because my H's sex drive did not deteriorate with time. It was never really there. He grew up in a home that had very repressed, negative views toward sex. He has been with other women but only when he was drinking. He had a fiance for 5 years previous to me that would not have sex with him due to her own childhood sexual abuse issues.

We met when I was 19 and he was 24. We married 2.5 years later. The first 3 years we were together was long distance so I didn't notice it as much but even then he wouldn't rush to make love after we had been apart for a while. It has always been one excuse after another usually coming back to he is too tired.

We have consistently done it aprox 3 times a month for the past 10 years when we were together. He has told me he just doesn't think about it. He will accept oral sex and give it when we do have intercourse but he hates to be touched anywhere else and says it tickles, even massages. Kissing is almost obsolete.
I never initiate anymore b/c it hurts to much to be turned down 99% of the time. I have tried sexy lingerie, date night, everything and he just finds excuses or delays it, I get angry, he gives in, and then I don't enjoy the experience as it always feels like "pity" sex.

We are best friends and I know he loves me, and I certainly love him, but I cannot help feeling angry and cheated. My self-esteem is completely shot no matter what I tell myself.
Whenever we dicuss it (which involves me crying and ranting on about how empty and worthless he is making me feel) he takes full responsibility, promises to do better, to go to the Dr., he promises the world, but never follows through for longer than a day. It is getting to the point after 7 years of marriage that I am starting to resent him. I am so sick of crying myself to sleep at night and holding onto the hope that he will one day start communicating his real feelings so we can build intimacy between us and hoping the sex will follow!

We have a toddler and I want to avoid D at all costs! Also my H is a great provider, father, friend, and a genuinely good person. I do believe he loves me, I have mentioned a seperation over this and he freaked out and begged me to give him a chance to do better, but he still didn't change. I have read the Sex-Starved Marriage 3 times and my husband read the first page, he came running out had sex with me and it has stayed on his nightstand for 6 months and he refuses to read it. Using the he is too tired excuse as usual.