Who says you can't have a relationship with IL's? You can do whatever you want, so long as they are accepting of it. I know lots of people that continue to have relationships with their IL's long after their relationship with their child disappears.

As for your H, do you know it is VERY common for children of parents, that have had A's, to have A's of their own? It's what they have grown up with and they think its the norm - no big deal. Sounds like your H is thinking along those lines too

Heywyre

M - 57
H - 65
1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02
2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06
together 21 years
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Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)