Am I piecing? I am sooooo confused

[Heywyre]

I did not take offence to the comment Kirby - its ok, don't sweat it.

I don't think the comment was calus - we all have our own crosses to bear. Its not like you forced me to marry the man. All I am concerned about is that we have identified the primary issue and can work on it from here (hopefully),

H met me for lunch today (his day off that he used to meet the OW) and confirmed that he had been thinking about what we talked about and agreed that has been an issue in his life. I am of the opinion it stemmed from being adopted (which he only found out about when he was 55 years old). Being he never had a relationship with his birth mother that would make it all the more difficult for him to get close to women in his life. He agreed he never got close to his adoptive mother and from then on all the women in his life became "things" as opposed to someone who was his equal.

He said he has always considered me to be his equal, so to cross over and include sex into that mix just makes him feel as though he isn't respecting me. He can't have sex (so he says) with someone he respects (thus the escorts that were involved in the A's). As for other women he has been in relationships with, they were short term and he had no connection intellectually with them like he does me. He is having a VERY hard time associating the two together.

The more I think about it, the more I am convinced we have struck a core issue here. We are going to talk to the C about when we go next time, however that isn't until the 5th of February, but that will give us some more time to talk about it anyway.

I don't know where we will go from here. I guess there is a possibility we will maybe have to go to sex therapist to move this along (if the C we go to doesn't specialize in things like that) I guess we will see when we go to see him next time